Questions from an atheist

I saw this on Kyle's blog and I thought it was interesting and important to think about. I'm going to list all the questions in their entirety first, and then I'll list them again individually with my answers so you don't have to scroll continuously to make sense of it.
From Greaterthanlapsed:

What verifiable evidence supports your belief in a god? Unsubstantiated “miracles” don’t count. “I just feel it in my heart” or similar nonsense is not evidence. However, I will accept “I don’t need evidence,” as a valid answer—although it will make me think you are foolish and worry about your grasp on reality.>

How do you decide which parts of your holy book(s) to accept as true and meaningful? I may bring up specific examples and ask your opinion on them regardless of your answer to this question. What I look for here is consistency. If you eat shrimp or wear cotton-polyester, I don’t expect that you will think homosexuality is a sin. If you live in this universe, I don’t expect that you will think the earth was created in less than a week or that Jonah really lived in a fish for 3 days.

Of the numerous world religions that exist, what made you pick yours in the first place? On what basis have you decided that your particular religion is the correct religion?

How do you make moral and ethical decisions on a day-to-day basis? To what extent do you consider yourself guided by your religion in that decision-making process?

How do you make sense of moral and ethical contradictions in your holy book(s) or religious dogma?

What qualities would you say make a god worthy of worship? To what extent does your god embody those qualities, and how? I will ask for examples here, and I am likely to point out contradictions if I am familiar enough with your religion to do so.

What are your views on the afterlife? Especially, what happens to people who don’t agree that your religion is the correct one?

How does your religion and/or how do you personally address the problem of evil?

When members of your religion do bad things, how comfortable are you to be associated with those people? Do you still consider them to be members of the same religion as you? Indeed, how do you determine who is “in” and who is “out”? If you don’t determine that, is there an authority that does so? By what method does that authority do so, and where do they get their authority?

What if you are wrong? How important is it to you to be part of the “right” religion? What consequences do you foresee if you have chosen incorrectly? How much doubt would you say that you have about your religious beliefs?

Alright, so here we go:

1. What verifiable evidence supports your belief in a god?

By verifiable, I assume she means able to be demonstrated to another person. I don't think I have any "verifiable evidence" for God aside from tradition and authority, which I am sure she would reject. I'm not impressed with any of the philosophical "proofs" of the existence of God, although I find the very existence of the universe to indicate the existence of some sort of creator, although this by no means proves the Christian God, nor any personal entity at all. For me, the "evidence" I have is personal evidence; aside from telling stories about my experience, I can't share it with anyone.

That said, I don't think that belief relies on empirical evidence, at least not when it comes to an emotionally-charged issue like the existence of God. People are going to believe what they are inclined to believe, and no amount of "verifiable evidence" (of which there isn't any, for or against) is going to change that. I believe that the Holy Spirit is ultimately in charge of our belief; God doesn't leave something as important as that to us.

2. How do you decide which parts of your holy book(s) to accept as true and meaningful?

I don't. Or rather, I guess I do and I have decided to accept all of the Bible as true and meaningful. I believe that the formation of the Bible has been guided throughout history by God, beginning from the oral traditions and continuing on through the present day.

As a Christian, I believe the central event in human history was the incarnation, crucifixion and ressurection of Christ, so the Bible is "true and meaningful" inasmuch as it points to that. I am not a biblical literalist, although I used to be. My understanding of 2 Timothy 3:16 is different than that of many other Christians. The word θεόπνευστος (theopneustos), translated "inspired by God" is more literally translated as "God-breathed" (theos meaning God, and pneustos coming from pneuma meaning spirit or breath). This idea of all scripture being God-breathed brings to my mind the account of the creation of man in Genesis 2:7, in which YHWH assembles man out of the dust, out of what's already there. The Bible, as I understand it, is a collection of documents written by humans and assembled by the Holy Spirit throughout history. Because of this, "true and meaningful" doesn't necessarily mean "literally, scientifically true."

3. Of the numerous world religions that exist, what made you pick yours in the first place? On what basis have you decided that your particular religion is the correct religion?

See my answer to #1. I was practically born a Christian, so I can't really say that I "picked" Christianity. I believe that God "picked" me, and I'm trying to respond to that election.

4. How do you make moral and ethical decisions on a day-to-day basis? To what extent do you consider yourself guided by your religion in that decision-making process?

Every day I try to do what is right, and every day I fail at it.

My conception of “right” comes largely from how I was raised, and that was based on the morals present in the Bible, although those morals aren’t exclusive to the Bible. To me, the Bible (and Christianity in general) is not primarily concerned with morals, for most of the morality within the Bible is culturally obvious (don’t murder, steal, lie in court, etc.). So, the way in which my understanding of Christianity influences my moral and ethical decisions is that it reduces them to one principle: What can I do right now that is most honoring to God? Now, that’s not to say that I am thinking this all the time and constantly analyzing my actions—most of my “ethical decision-making” is mindless—but when I am trying to make a difficult decision, this is (ideally) my guiding principle.

This begs the question: How do I know what is honoring to God? Often, I don’t exactly, but here are some basic ideas: Give God the glory and respect due him as creator. Love God with all of me. Love my neighbor as myself. Treat everything (and everyone, including myself) as though it belongs to someone else, because it does. Share the truth of God with everyone and in every way possible. Try to live in a way that I can be taken seriously when I try to share the truth of God.

5. How do you make sense of moral and ethical contradictions in your holy book(s) or religious dogma?

Three things:

First, every command in the Bible was addressed to a specific person/group of people at a specific time, and what makes ethical sense in one situation doesn’t necessarily make ethical sense in another.

Second, God is by definition good, and therefore anything done by God is good, even though it may appear evil to us. I know that saying this will make me appear blind or ignorant or something like that to many, but I don’t know how you can believe in an infinite creator/source of everything and believe otherwise. There is no standard larger than God to which to hold God, so we can’t judge him. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t question something that we’re told God said/did, but there is no judging God himself.

Third, because I believe the Bible is a divinely-assembled human-written document (see #2), it’s entirely possible that things attributed to God in parts of the text are not actually God but people thinking/saying they are acts of God. One good example of this would be the construction of Solomon’s temple.

6. What qualities would you say make a god worthy of worship? To what extent does your god embody those qualities, and how?

Before I answer, let me say that I hate the way this question is often used. “God is only worth worshipping if he does x and not y.” Maybe that carries some validity outside of the Abrahamic religions, but not inside of them. Here’s why I say that:

I believe that God is the creator and sustainer of all there is. God is the one being who is not grounded in anything else, and in whom everything is grounded. This alone makes him worthy of worship. To put any conditions on that worship is arrogance in the extreme. How can we temporary, finite creatures hope to judge the infinite creator of all there is? To say something like “a God who commands x or allows y isn’t worthy of worship” is ridiculous, assuming you believe in God as the infinite creator.

Side note: There is, however, some validity in saying something like: “I can’t worship a God who commands x or allows y.” It’s frightening to think that God may not have our best interests at heart and it is impossible for us of our own power to worship God and view him as good when he may wish our end (see my last post). Because of sin, we are bound (as in “bound with chains”) to not let God be God, and we always have to put conditions on his Godhood (ridiculous as that is). However, the simple truth is that God is God, and therefore he is free to do whatever he wants, and there’s nothing we can do about it. This is terrifying to us who have been turned inward by sin, who can’t stop thinking about our self-preservation. The only way past this is by the work of the Holy Spirit which allows us to hear the good news given to us in Christ that God is for us and not against us. It is only by this work that “I am the Lord your God, you shall have no other” becomes not a threat, but a promise.

7. What are your views on the afterlife? Especially, what happens to people who don’t agree that your religion is the correct one?

I don’t know, exactly. I believe there is a heaven and a hell, although I’m not at all sure what these places (if I can call them that) are or what they are like exactly. Also, according to Revelation 20:11-15, our destiny in heaven or hell is not determined by what we do or don’t do, but by God’s free choice. Because of that, I have no real way of determining who goes where; all I know is that I have God’s promise that I will be saved, and that’s what I cling to.

8. How does your religion and/or how do you personally address the problem of evil?

It doesn’t, at least not in any sense of solving the problem. I don’t know why things are the way they are, but I believe that God is good and able to change them. I realize that there is tension here (to put it mildly) and I struggle with that regularly. But the fact is, we are not in any position to evaluate God’s actions, or really even to evaluate whether something is objectively good or evil (see #6). In general, what we mean when we use the terms “good,” “bad” or “evil” is that something does or doesn’t lend itself to our self-preservation.

This doesn’t make the inconsistency between our self preservation and God’s actions any less terrifying, however. The only solution to that terror is the revelation of God’s will given in Jesus Christ. So, on a personal level, when I am afflicted by the apparent contradiction present in the problem of evil, my only refuge is the promise of salvation through Jesus Christ given to me in my baptism (again, see my last post or this post and comments).

9. When members of your religion do bad things, how comfortable are you to be associated with those people? Do you still consider them to be members of the same religion as you? Indeed, how do you determine who is “in” and who is “out”? If you don’t determine that, is there an authority that does so? By what method does that authority do so, and where do they get their authority?

Wow, this is a bunch of questions. Quick answers: I’m not. Yes. I don’t. Yes, God. By God’s inscrutable will (so basically I don’t know), and God’s authority comes from God’s existence as creator and sustainer.

Some explanation: Being a Christian doesn’t mean being perfect. In fact, the first thing Christianity should teach you that you are a sinner, and quite likely the worst of sinners. I don’t believe that once you “become a Christian” (however that is defined) a switch is flipped and you are suddenly morally perfect, although some Christians do believe that. What we call “justification” (the forgiveness of sins) is an external reality, not an internal one. It is the criminal being pardoned by the judge; he is the same person he was before the pardon, but now his crime is not being held against him. When we are justified, Christ’s righteousness is given to us; when God sees us, he sees his son. The internal reality is what we call “sanctification” (being made holy), and that is a long process, with many ups and downs, progression and regression. Sanctification will go on for our entire lives, and perhaps even longer.

10. What if you are wrong? How important is it to you to be part of the “right” religion? What consequences do you foresee if you have chosen incorrectly? How much doubt would you say that you have about your religious beliefs?

If I am wrong, then the consequences depend on who is right, and I can’t go into all the possible consequences here. I’m sure that I am wrong about some things; fortunately my salvation doesn’t rely on me. But even if I came to find out my religious beliefs were wrong, at the very least they would have given me peace and a purpose. As for how much doubt I have, I’m not sure how to quantify it exactly, so maybe I will borrow a bit from Lincoln (or whoever): I’m completely sure some of the time, and I’m somewhat sure all of the time, but I’m not completely sure all of the time.

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So there’s what I think. I’d love to hear what you think. Are there parts you would agree with? Disagree with? Does this match up with how you think/have thought about Christianity?

A Conversation with the Devil

I want to try and share an experience I had last night while reading Luther's "The Bondage of the Will." I don't really have some lesson I'm trying to get across, I'm just trying to share my experience. I'm not sure exactly what sharing this will accomplish, but it was a profound experience for me, and I hope it is helpful to someone.

Some context: In the section I was reading, Luther talks about God hardening Pharaoh's heart in Exodus 7-12. His point is that, though we often try to reduce God to abstract concepts such as mercy or love, God truly is God and is therefore sovereign over all of us. He has mercy on whomever he wishes, and he hardens the heart of whomever he wishes. (Romans 9:18) The truth of the matter is that we have no rights in relation to God; he is free to do with us what he will, and no amount of effort on our part can change that.

(A couple notes: First, I really didn't experience this as a conversation until near the end of it. Most of this experience was more feelings and half-formed thoughts than words, but I don't know how else to convey the experience than as a conversation. Second, I'm not sure what I believe about the Devil and Demons in a metaphysical sense. I don't know whether Satan is some independent spiritual entity or just a metaphor representing the worst part of ourselves. All I know is that my experience was that of being attacked by Satan, whatever that means in a metaphysical sense.)

Satan: God’s will may lead to your destruction. Look at how he used Pharaoh or Saul to demonstrate his power! What makes you think that you’re any different?

Me: I don't know. I'm certainly not any better or more deserving than either of them. I have no right to salvation, and God has every right to use me for his purposes, even if that means my destruction. The fact that I'm concerned with that shows me to be sinful. It’s sin for me to think of self-preservation, to be concerned with the self at all is sin. It shows my separation from my creator because it is me drawing a line in the sand beyond which I will not cross. “If God’s will leads to my destruction, then I will have nothing to do with it;” this is sin. I must submit to God’s will, no matter what. In order for my will to conform to God's will, it is “I” that must die. “I” must be killed. Resurrection is my only hope.

Satan: True, resurrection is only a hope; you have no way of knowing if that’s God’s will for you. Just as likely, Hell is what God has in store for you. You deserve nothing else. God desires your end.

Me: Hell is all that I deserve. “We are all beggars,” after all. How can I expect to merit anything from God other than eternal damnation? (God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, watch over me!) Can I really submit to destruction? I know that I must submit to that if that is God’s will for me, but how can I? I guess it is only the Holy Spirit who can make such a change in me, to make it possible for me to accept my own death from God’s hand. I know I should ask for the Holy Spirit to give me the strength to face my own damnation, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Thank you, God, for giving me the Holy Spirit as my intercessor. (Lord, bless me and keep me!) I understand why some can’t face this and would rather that God didn’t exist than face his terrible presence, the awful reality that we are nothing before him. Maybe I, if only I deny him aloud, could at least live in ignorance and go blissfully to my damnation, even it the bliss did come by self-deception. It seems better than the alternative, which is to go to my damnation knowingly. (Oh, Lord God, keep me! Hold me, I am slipping!) My chest aches with the anxiety. Could I really deny him now that I have come so far? For 10 years, I have been preparing myself for ministry, can I really back out now? What would my family say? My friends? (God, is this your will for me? Are you even now leading me to perdition?) Must I accept my eternal damnation? (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, the sinner! Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, the sinner! Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, the sinner!...)

Satan: You are the worst of sinners and all you can do is accept your damnation. Be a good creature; submit to Hell!

Me: Wait… I know what’s going on here! I know who you are! Begone from me, Satan! In the name of Jesus, get the hell out of here! (God, protect me.) [Epiphany] But, I… was baptized. I was baptized! I am God’s! I belong to him, and he will not let me go! How dare you say otherwise! He is my father, and Jesus is my brother… and my Lord, and there’s nothing you or I can do about that! How dare you try and convince me that I am nothing to God, that he doesn’t love me, that I am nothing more than a tool to him! What makes me think that I’m different from Pharaoh or Saul? I was baptized, and in my baptism God promised to save me! How dare you make God to be a liar! Let God be true, though every man, including myself, be a liar! (Romans 3:4) Who brings a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. (Romans 8:33) God himself said that “Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved.” Well I was baptized, and I believe in that promise. I am God’s, and there is nothing to be done about it. He is the Lord my God, and I shall have no other. (Exodus 20:2) Now leave me, Satan! Christ set me free for freedom's sake, and I will not again submit to your slavery of fear! (Galatians 5:1 Romans 8:15) I am free to be the person God created me to be. Free from my sin, from death, and from you. Now get the hell out of here!

Throughout this crisis, my anxiety built and built until I felt as though something were squeezing my chest. By the time I began praying the Jesus prayer I could hardly breathe, my chest was so tight. This pressure remained until I had my epiphany and said aloud "but I was Baptized!" at which point it abated immediately. I wrote down everything I thought/said as best as I could remember it.

Like I said, I don't really have a lesson to draw from this for anyone else, but it helped me to understand the significance of baptism in more than just a theoretical way (see my post on Baptism). It also helped me understand Luther more and what it means that the Law kills so that the Gospel can make alive. (Galatians 3:19-29). In this crisis, my fixation on my own failure was the voice of the Law, and the realization of my baptism was the sweet voice of the Gospel. According to Luther, it is in crises like these that we feel death's sting and are driven to despair of ourselves, so that the Law can do its work and deliver us over to Christ and his Gospel. I'll let Luther have the last word. Here is an excerpt from "The Bondage of the Will" which talks about his experience of this crisis:

"Admittedly, it gives the greatest possible offense to common sense or natural reason that God by his own sheer will should abandon, harden, and damn men as if he enjoyed the sins and the vast, eternal torments of his wretched creatures, when he is preached as a God of such great mercy and goodness, etc. It has been regarded as unjust, as cruel, as intolerable, to entertain such an idea about God, and this is what has offended so many great men during so many centuries. And who would not be offended? I myself was offended more than once, and brought to the very depth and abyss of despair, so that I wished I had never been created a man, before I realized how salutary that despair was, and how near to grace."